If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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