I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
