So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize