I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
