remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize