Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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