he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
