Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
So vagazzling was a success
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
