i will never coherently bang her
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
