does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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