this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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