is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
