ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
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