There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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