I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
