my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
