It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
