Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Sorry my hands just texted you
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
