boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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