No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
