Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
