you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize