End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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