So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
