yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
