i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
