I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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