Well apparently he's into motor boating.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
