My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
