Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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