u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
