i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
