Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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