So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
its not stalking. its research.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
