Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
