Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
