I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
