I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
