WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
