a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
one might say we're banned from that church
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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