Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
