Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Your dad touched me again.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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