I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
