i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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