Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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