do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
