Soap is not a condiment
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
