I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
