A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
