the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
