Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
