Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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