erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
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