Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
