Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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