Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
stop calling my apartment porn island.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
He did a backflip because drugs
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize