I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
my phone needs a breathalizer
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Randomize
