Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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