Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
