first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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